Happy Birthday to me! This year is 35. It feels like a big one for some reason. I did some reflecting about things I have learned so far. Most was not at all taught within the walls of education. Take what you need and leave what you do not.

I keep trying to explain to my kids what getting older feels like. It is so hard to throw words at. My brain feels like I am 20, there are heavy adult responsibilities, I usually cannot do what I want (kids are the problem I know hehe), my body wants to go do the things but it tends to be sore (working on that one). But my soul is enjoying the now and what is to come.

With gratitude,

Atheana

Here are my top 35 tips and lessons learned:

• Stop trying to shrink your authenticity. I am super awkward and unhinged.
• No one has it all figured out. Not even the smartest people in your eyes.
• People’s upbringing and early childhood experiences impact them as an adult.
• Trauma is held in the body and eventually surfaces.
• Trauma of all sizes is significant. Dieting is a form of trauma.
• Acknowledge your privileges. Name them and get super aware when you’re entering into situations and need to check yourself.
• Food is meant to be enjoyed + celebrated. Like all food. There are no “bad foods.”
• Food is absolutely an option to regulate, cope and turn to to seek regulation. (Hello every breastfed baby).
• Self-compassion is really the thing we all need a high school course on and pressure to be “the best” in. Certainly not fitness testing.
• Explore other food cultures. It will likely confront your “truths” about food, expand your palate and bring my favourite part about food out: connection.
• I really dislike being called a nutrition expert. No I am not an expert in anything. Absolutely not, on another person’s food, body and eating experiences.
• Body comments are really a billboard of that person’s insecurities.
• Stop caring about what you look like. What standards? Oh the ones anchored in white supremacy, colonialism and icky patrolling of women’s bodies. That are all just made up “rules.”
• It takes zero effort to be kind and take a breath.
• Get in that bathing suit, wear the shorts and enjoy your real life. All of my kids were born with cellulite and wrinkly skin. It is natural what your body looks like.
• I have never remembered a person’s body at the pool or beach 1 minute, month or year later.
• Pictures are a tunnel to memories, experiences, feelings, and connection. Get in them!
• Stop teaching kids to diet, about food hierarchies, forbidding foods, pressure on food + health and making them feel like their bodies are a problem.
• You are not alone with a hard situation, parenting conundrum or mental health challenge. Find some community.. like the cool ones that actually get it.
• I have no time for being fake or entertaining a perfect aura. What are your core values to life? Live by those not anyone else’s.
• When we do things that push us into an uncomfy situation or state there is usually a reason AND some growth that comes. Even the real hard ones.
• Why are you saying no all the time. Is no actually going to devastate this situation?
• I do not celebrate hustle culture. Why are we pumping up burnt out, caffeinated and dysregulated people?
• Give me more rest, restoration, nature, yoga and sleep. Be a level 4 at listening to your body and resting.
• Always leave the office ontime. It is a never ending process. You did not study hard and struggle in life to become a machine.
• From a past client (who died so unexpectedly during our work from a heart attack and gave me a pep talk at our last session- kind felt like a sign) go on the trips, do the things with your kids, love them fiercely, worry about money later. Try your best to slow down time.
• I am here for uterus owners to have rights to their entire body.
• Talking about money is awkward (hello being socialized as a women). Ask for those pay raises and get what you need covered without feeling guilty. Because no man certainly does not.
• Take up so much space. You are absolutely not too much.
• Sometimes you need to talk less, put the agenda down, listen, reflect and be curious.
• Your body is 10000000% never the problem. It is your brain trying to “protect you.” My younger self needed this at 15.
• You do not have to be for everyone. There is going to be so many TikTok haters. Along with people who are unreachable and unteachable. That is their choice not yours.
• Is your brain being too bossy to your body, joy, spirit or mind? Can you really not do that thing? Or is this core belief needing to be dug up?
• Plant more trees. Support local businesses and farmers. Have dance parties and just exude more gratefulness.
• I see you tiny humans (V,O,B) and I am going to change my ways and hopefully the spaces around you. So you can change the world and make it safer for all people to just exist exactly as they are. Stay unapologetic forever.